Ah

So I am full with cookies I baked (unfortunately they were already cut and stuff. I want to make homemade ones!) and before that I had another one of those i-cant-breathe-because-im-laughing-so-hard moments. Ever since a month ago, I kind of feel happier? I've had those i-cant-breathe-because-im-laughing-so-hard moments like 4 times this whole month and last month. I kind of feel like I'm free.. Like a whole pound of rocks has fallen from my body. Nothing has changed really, but I have gotten close to a selective couple of friends and of course my family. I'm actually going to be really sad when my sister leaves for college. She's the character in the house.. The crazy character. And in Bio after school today, I was talking to Abi about friends. Like Huy said, our group is vaporizing (cough1984cough). I am a bit jealous of my sister because she has 3 best friends. They are so close, they have the same interests, they do everything together. Sometimes smaller is better. And it's not like they seclude themselves from everyone else, it's just they're really close. I want that, but I don't think that will happne since I'm a sophmore. annika had the same friends/best friends since 7th grade. =/ Also, I wonder why kids ruin their lives with regrets. Not small ones, big ones. I am suprised that girls (some guys) believe that they love their couple. Yeah there may be a few couples that are madly in love, but how long will that last? We don't know what love is. Love isn't just getting butterflies in your stomach. Love has a whole different meaning to it, words can't even describe it. And doing something dumb because you think you"love" your boyfriend or girlfriend is just plain dumb. In highschool, think about yourself (not talking about friends; giving is above all!) when it comes to relationships. And just take the time to think. That's the most important of all. I still don't know what I'm getting my family for Christmas.. And my mom is driving me insane with the presents under the tree. She's like, "open it! wait don't open it!" haha. Judy and Rachel are coming over on Christmas. Man, I haven't seen them in AGES. I can't wait to play with them and talk to them about their lives (yeah, one is 5 and one is in 6th grade. lol) I hope I end this week nicely because I want this winter break to be wonderful. With my family and with friends. OH which reminds me of the group Mary, Sam, and I made. ;] I love to keep secrets from people. Muahaha We still need to figure some stuff out, but what our main purpose is is fantastic. (: Also, I'm trying to cut down on my complaining. I absolutely HATE when people complain (ocassional is fine, but incessant is beyond irking). Of course I complain, who doesn't? But I don't think I should complain like, "I don't have enough clothes.." blah blah blah. I have enough clothes. Although most of them are hand-me-downs, I should be thankful for what I have. And it's sad.. This New Years will be spent without my grandpa. In fact, I don't even think we're going to be celebrating New Yearrs with my dad's side. I'm not sad that I'm not getting anymore money. It's just my grandpa was the tie to my dad's side. Now it's.. broken.

love,
kelsey.

..i wish they went to our school.